Photo

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I am

Who am I? I am 24 years old and I now I have found myself…no it would be truer to say I finally see myself.

A man falls into a hole and doctor passes by.
The man yells “I have fallen into this hole. Please help me get out!”
The doctor writes a prescription and throws it into the hole and continues on.
Then a priest comes upon the hole and again the man pleads.
“I have fallen in this hole. Please help me to get out!”
The priest writes a prayer throws it down to him and continues on.
A friend happens upon the hole.
The man in desperation speaks “Friend, I have fallen in this hole. Please I need your help!”
The friend jumps down into the hole.
The man looks to his friend, “You idiot now we’re both stuck down here!”
To which his friend replies, “Yes I know, but I have been here before and I know the way out.”

This is who I am. I have tried many things in life in search of what it is that fulfills me. I cannot be a doctor, nor a priest. I have been with great failure and with great success. But the only thing that has given me great peace is when I am a friend. It is who I have always been and will always be. I have spent much time trying to fight it but I always lose. I do not know how to live my life just for me. That is why I have been the girl I have been my entire existence. So I fear if my words have been mistaken as being of self evolved that I am sorry for that is not what I intended. I was alone a great deal as a child with out many to share my journey and so I always said to myself “on the other side of the earth there is someone else going through the exact same thing that I am going through and they will be fine and so must I”. It seems to me that the greatest human fear is to be alone. It is why we seek partners, friends and god. To know that someone is there. That someone believes in us. I believe in everything and everyone. My greatest fear is that no one will ever see that. That they will never know that I will always be here for you, always believe in you and always have faith in you. I will never judge you, or think ill of you or think you are not important. Knowing that, I ask one question.

I have found meaning in your words,
will you find meaning in mine.

Word of the day

somnolent \ SOM-nuh-luhnt\, adjective:
1. Sleepy; drowsy; inclined to sleep.
2. Tending to cause sleepiness or drowsiness.

I am SOMnolent girl. This bear hibernates in the summer.

The dispair of my bear

I constantly fail...no matter how many times I re-edit, how many time I backspace, or "CNTRL Z" then "CNTRL Y", it never seems to come.

Is it the cold indifferent nature of this font that confines the words to my finger tips?

Permitted only to dispel the dialect emetic....

one7 eight...bears...linga

What do you do?
A love that's changed your life for the better.
In his presence you've felt free to grow.
To become more than you ever wanted for yourself.
Everything I had planned before him I just erase.
None of that matters to me.
All I want is to prove to him that I love him.

Only thing is he keeps you prisoner to this throne.
You're not allowed friends that are not already his own.
I'd rather remain in my tower alone.
To be seen and not heard is what he'd prefer.
All for the sake of his ego's protection.
You are not allowed to be smarter, funnier or braver than him.
How do you stay sane?
Complains that you"re to blame for why he's isolated himself.

Makes you wonder if this is where you belong...prisoner to this prince of pain.

Faith

The kingdom of GOD is inside you and all around you.
Not in mansions of wood and stone.
Split a piece of wood and I am there.
Lift a stone and you will find me.